OurColony.net

Do Yourself a Favor and Use this Book (even if you don't have aging parents)

Customer Rating:
We are the aging parents who needed to move! We sold our house, every corner and crevice overflowing with forty years of our family's life, and moved to an apartment. The overflow filled two storage garages and a storage room (and that was after we gave away some large items).

Author Nancy Wesson covers practical, soulful, and medical needs in a variety of thoughtful settings. She makes a compelling case for being sensitive to the emotions of someone who is downsizing, as well as looking out for the physical requirements. She includes a section on how to meet the special needs of elders who have low vision or hearing, Parkinson's or Alzheimer's disease with specific details known to experienced caretakers.

As I read Nancy's admonishments for caretakers to remember to be kind to themselves too, I was amused to realize that I needed that advice. I had been rather hard on me, demanding too much of myself at times during our move.

This guide goes so far beyond downsizing or even helping elders downsize, that it surprises me that I also found it easy to read, and easy to implement her ideas. I'm so glad to have received this particular book as part of my participation in the LibraryThing Early Review program, because I have made room in our new place, in my new life, in my heart, for things I would have put aside without Nancy's wisdom.

Retirement, it has been often noted, is not undiluted joy, but can also be a time of facing new limitations, whether they be physical, financial, social, or all three. Nancy shows how to put the joy back into the Golden Years.

I dusted off my portable sewing machine, and discovered it can fit under and on top of a desk, making the area dual-use, then added my laptop for a triple-play. I brought my hand-loom out of retirement, and have been inspired to combine weaving, beading, crochet and sewing, making unique designs. It is fun to give myself permission to ignore "the rules" and make something just for the pleasure of it.

I cannot recommend this handy collection of practical wisdom and nurturing encouragement too strongly. Even people who are not moving could benefit from reading Nancy's book, as many of us could benefit by sorting out our lives, belongings and activities to get a fresh start on the tangle of possessions and frenetic scheduling we call home.

Moving Your Aging Parents by jean

Customer Rating:
Great Book!! If only I had had it a year ago. My sister and I moved my 90 year old mother in April, 2008 from a home she had lived in for over 60 years to a "suite plus" which is a living/bedroom and tiny kitchenette. The whole thing was one big nightmare.

Wesson writes her book after her Mom's place has been broken into twice. In each chapter, Wesson talks of the reality, the hope, and the sadness that accompanies many moves to retirement, assisted living or nursing homes.

The book starts off with What Matters Most? which seems like an easy enough thing to consider. But after 60+ years in one house, raising 3 children there, watching one child and a husband die there; What Matters Most? is not an easy question to answer.

One of the best things about this book is the Suggested Activities at the end of most chapters. If you have the luxury of planning the move months or years in advance, by all means read these suggestions.

"Moving `away from' is not enough. We must know what we are moving toward." If this one thought is kept in mind, the whole move will be simpler and smoother on the parent and the children who are helping.

In Chapter 5, Wesson lists the nine domains in one's life then tells how to deal with each as the move becomes a reality. Each domain is listed: Health, Activities, Spirituality, Family, Finances, Community, Relationship, Creativity & Future and Helpful People & Travel. With each, there are needs to think of presently and needs for the future. As Wesson says, "...the natural tendency is to focus on the immediate needs, not the more mundane day-to-day activities that sustain life beyond the crisis." Again, I wish I had had this book, I'm pretty sure we only thought of the immediate needs of my Mother - because we were in crisis mode.

This is a very helpful book. Even if you and in your 30s, please read it so you will be prepared - we are all getting older.

Transforms difficult chores into acts of mutual joy, growth, and love

Customer Rating:

Reviewed by Mary Durfor for RebeccasReads (8/08)

"Moving Your Aging Parents" is an excellent guidebook for anyone who is engaged in the process of orchestrating the downsizing and relocation of another human being, whether a parent (the actual subject of the book), another loved one, or even themselves. The author has drawn widely from respected experts in a diverse field of disciplines, and has truly created a reference book for managing environment to create a special place of retreat. The special needs of the aging or disabled are thoughtfully considered, with practical solutions for overcoming barriers related to diminished hearing, vision, dexterity, strength, ambulation ability, as well as mental capacity and memory.

One of the most important aspects of this process is the awareness that after physical needs have been met, care must be taken to recognize and nourish the needs of the spirit. Since it takes at least a year to actually settle into a new living situation, for someone in their 70's or 80's, this is a disproportionately huge chunk of time in relation to time left to live! With a new location, particularly if in a new state, or even a new city, comes the need for new physicians and pharmacists, new grocery stores, neighbors, bank and beauty salon, new church, friends, clubs or groups, etc. It's an overwhelming amount of "newness" which can be gently explored as part of the ritual of moving toward a new and exciting, fulfilling life, instead of away from the familiar and loved previous existence. Often, a great loss prompts this entire process, such as death of a spouse, loss of faculties due to fading health, etc. Much care and planning can transform the entire process into a growth opportunity, filled with new rituals that the author clearly outlines, and she subsequently offers excellent blueprints for achieving these desired results.

The principles of Feng Shui form the foundation of the author's professional practice. This ancient tradition seeks to design living space in such a thoughtful way as to facilitate living consciously. Ease of movement, comfort, and natural flow provide the safe, emotionally nurturing and creativity enhancing arrangement of all things practical and ethereal for the creation of a sanctuary, a retreat, a place of great comfort and tranquility in which to reside. The practical considerations of noise, light and glare, optimal organization of medications, foodstuffs, and clothing as well as items for achieving cleanliness all are taken into account as the new living space is created and formed into a welcoming new home. The author gives a basic overview of the Nine Life Domains of the Feng Shui tradition, and integrates along with this spiritual eastern philosophical base, the sciences of ergonomics, Quantum Physics, and psychology. She deftly pulls together the concepts (along with their full arsenals of techniques) of conflict resolution, recognition of and dealing with self-sabotaging thoughts, the use of creative visualization, the positive application of color, sound, and odor for their support of the environment, the power of intention, as well as the science of organizing and the deliberate reduction of "things."

Also covered are the subjects of divesting of the old home, staging to sell, estate sales, and the actual packing of the belongings that are moving to the new space. Concrete suggestions are offered which will ease the transition for everyone involved, and ideas for "clearing" the old and new spaces, for performing rituals of blessings and thanks, as well as guidance on sensitively cherishing the emotions tied to this entire process are an invaluable gift from the author. Each chapter has a "Summary" and "Major Points" section at the end, which succinctly reviews the most salient points of the preceding chapter, and provides an excellent review for the reader. Also provided at the end of each chapter is a numbered list of Suggested Activities, which, if performed, will surely enhance the entire experience for all who are involved in this emotional and potentially rewarding endeavor. As a thirty-five plus year veteran of health care practice as a Registered Nurse, specializing in care of the elderly, I offer my heart-felt endorsement of this excellent book. It offers concrete plans to follow and emphasizes the emotional and spiritual counterparts that transform seemingly difficult chores into acts of mutual joy, growth, and love.

Valuable lessons in patience, understanding and compassion

Customer Rating:
Reviewed by Olivera Baumgartner-Jackson for Reader Views (8/08)

There are very few certainties in life. We are born and we die. If we are lucky, we age. If we are very lucky, our parents live to a ripe old age as well. When that happens, the traditional roles of children and parents become somewhat reversed. The oh-so-strong, capable and never-wrong person of our youth all of a sudden finds him- or herself in need of our assistance - their child! This is always a difficult position to be in, and usually it is true for both of the involved parties. So how does one handle such delicate situations without "putting down" one's parents?

Wesson's "Moving Your Aging Parents" is a true gem of a book. It is rarely gentle, compassionate, but utterly useful and practical at the same time. Wesson seems to have thought of every aspect of moving - from the very initial stages of planning and mapping things out, to the practicalities of the actual moving activities, packing, unpacking and settling in to the ways to create a "new home" quickly and efficiently. Wesson understands very clearly that a house is not a home, and she guides the reader into making it a home quickly, suggesting the essential activities, key pieces and rituals to achieve that. She is forever attentive to the fact that it is the parent's comfort, safety and happiness that count the most and she suggests ways of respecting their wishes, while maintaining a level of practicality and feasibility.

Having read "Moving Your Aging Parents," I found it an invaluable resource not only for those who have to help parents move, but really for anybody contemplating a move in general. The advice contained within those pages is incredibly practical and well thought out. I wish I would have read it sooner; or at least before our last cross-country move. If there is one piece of advice I could not agree with more, it would be the one about hanging the artwork you own as soon as possible. Nothing says home more than that as far as I am concerned.

I could not recommend this book highly enough to anybody who is lucky enough to be in the position to help their aging parents move. "Moving Your Aging Parents" provides all the advice on the technicalities of moving you'll ever need; and it will also teach you some valuable lessons in patience, understanding and compassion.

Sensitive Advice for helping older people adjust to major life changes

Customer Rating:
For Nancy Wesson, a robbery at her elderly mother's house is the catalyst for an odyssey into herself and into the relations between aging parents and their grown-up children. As she works with her mother, helping the older woman to prioritize those parts of her life she can take with her into new and smaller surroundings, the author discovers things about herself and, more importantly, comes to understand what motivates an older generation and how they can be helped to revision their lives in a positive and rewarding manner. The result is a poignant, sensitive account of what worked for the author and her mother and what the author, using her own professional experience in creating livable settings, recommends to others who must help in that most delicate of all challenges, moving an aging parent away from the family home. Each chapter becomes a step-by-step guide to this new environment, with physical and emotional activities and exercises designed to demonstrate the principles of each step. The result is a guidebook not only to the compassionate treatment of elders but also for seniors themselves as they face making choices on their own. In this respect, chapter four, "to keep or not to keep" should be required reading for anyone over fifty. The book is also unusual in accepting the challenge of integrating emotion, intuition, mysticism, physical space, and rationality into the move.
Diana M DeLuca, Ph.D., author, Seniors Dealing With Life, http://coololdtech.blogspot.com