In mythology, the white knight is a dashing character who rescues the damsel in distress, falls in love, and saves the day. Real-life white knights are men and women who enter into romantic relationships with seemingly damaged, helpless, and vulnerable partners in hopes that love will transform their behavior, a relationship pattern that seldom leads to a storybook ending.
The White Knight Syndrome presents a unique look at the rescuer-victim relationship dynamic, a problem couples seeking therapy commonly have. Though most white knights feel that they are selfless and sacrificing, often they are really seeking unconditional love and admiration from others because they see themselves as flawed, weak, or unlovable. Problems arise when white knights care for their partners at the expense of their own needs, enable abusive or self-destructive behavior in their partners, try to control and make decisions for their partners, or encourage their partners to relinquish personal responsibility for the relationship. The book explains the origins of this behavior, presents five main types of white knights, and shows readers how to channel their generosity into healthy, balanced relationships with supportive partners.
