Incredible Book--Don't let the religion scare you off!
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This is the most amazing book. These guys combine so much practical wisdom, so much insight into relationships. The idea that I should be sharing my opinions, preferences, likes--whether in music, politics, clothing, whatever ... the idea that I should be sharing this directly with someone as part of defining my boundaries is simply revolutionary to me.
Somewhere along the way, I started holding back on my opinions and preferences when meeting new people. That creates two problems: one, people do not get to see or get to know who I am, what I really like, what I don't like. So I am stifling myself, keeping folks at a distance. Two, others who want to find me (who like my preferences, etc. or who simply want to know me better) can get this information more quickly when I share it early on. There's so many other insights here about wisely choosing partners, about assuming responsibility for your relationships.
I'm going to read more of these guys' books.
One note--I delayed reading this book because of the Christianity. When I finally picked it up and gave it fair reading, I saw that the Christianity is extremely ecumenical and open. The authors quote passages from the Bible in ways that reinforce common sense and common insights from psychology and psychotherapy and relationships. No guilt or judgmental thing going on ... If you're not Christian, I think you still might like this book.
I am eager to begin to practice some of this stuff.
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